Friday, September 25, 2015

New Jeans

I recently purchased my first pair of non-baggy jeans in over 20 years. I'm guesstimating, but it must've been at least that long since I jumped on the baggy bandwagon back in high school.

It was a good run, much longer than fashion would've dictated. I got attached to the baggy look out of insecurity when I was at my least secure. Now that I'm emotionally foundering again, I feel the need to get out of that rut.

Clothes don't really make the man, but I've been impressed with how much better I've felt wearing the new jeans. They aren't tight; they're just a more reasonable fit than the "stuck-in-the-90's" carpenter jeans I'd been sporting long past that look's pull date.

It helps that anxiety has driven my weight below 200 lbs. for the first time in a decade. I feel more confident in my appearance, although, as anyone with a drop of self-awareness can tell you, there's only a tenuous connection between one's appearance and one's confidence in it.

Despite my seemingly improved appearance, I've been unable to enjoy it very much due to the anxiety. It reminds me that beauty is only skin-deep, and, if you're fucked-up on the inside, it doesn't really matter what you look like. You won't be happy.

Still, though. I'm really digging the new jeans.

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